A Conservative View

Praying that Donald Trump can save Americas freedoms!


 Paraprosdokian  sentences: A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which
 the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way
 that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.
 It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect … see below …..
Ø   I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way.  So I
 stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Ø    Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and
 beat you with experience.
Ø    Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in
 a garage makes you a car.
Ø    The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it’s still on the list.
Ø    Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright
 until you hear them speak.
Ø    If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
Ø    We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Ø    War does not determine who is right — only who is left.
Ø    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a
 fruit salad.
Ø    The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
Ø    Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening,’ and then proceed
 to tell you why it isn’t.
Ø    To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is
Ø    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
 whole box to start a campfire
Ø   I  thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Ø    Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an
 emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR.”
Ø    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
 but check when you say the paint is wet?
Ø    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
 with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.
Ø    Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and
 50 for Miss America ?
Ø    Behind every successful man is his woman.  Behind the fall of a
 successful man is usually another woman.
Ø    A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Ø    You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to
 skydive twice.
Ø    The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Ø    Always borrow money from a pessimist.  He won’t expect it back.
Ø    A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
 you will look forward to the trip
Ø    Hospitality:  making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you
 wish they were.
Ø    Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live
Ø    Some cause happiness wherever they go.  Others whenever they go.
Ø    There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they
 can’t get away.
Ø    I used to be indecisive.  Now I’m not sure.
Ø    When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department
 usually uses water.
Ø    You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø    To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit
 the target.
Ø    Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
Ø    If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people
 have more than one child?

Thanks Wally

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