NEWS EVERYONE CAN USE
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we’re stoning her in the morning!
Just been to the gym. They’ve got a new machine in. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It’s great though. It provides me with everything I need – Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot..”
Question -Are there too many immigrants in Britain? 17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said “I am not understanding the question please.”
I’ve heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children’s-oriented iPod after realizing that “I Touch Kids” is not a good product name.
There’s a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping center, but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at some of the bomber jackets.
The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we’d love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway.