A Conservative View

Praying that Donald Trump can save America in 2024!


I doubt most people still alive ever heard them!

Be sure to refill the ice trays, we’re going to have company.

Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter in the mail today.

Quit slamming the screen door when you go out!

Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a shower is coming up.

Don’t forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.

Wash your feet before you go to bed, you’ve been playing outside all day barefooted.

Why can’t you remember to roll up your britches legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.

You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.

Don’t you go outside with your school clothes on!

Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.

Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle.

Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won’t have to pay a deposit on another one.

Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won’t get on it.

Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don’t quit!

Put your shirt tail in, everyone will think you are an orphan.

Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.

You can walk to the store; it won’t hurt you to get some exercise.

Sit closer to the radio; don’t turn it up so loud.

If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!

Don’t lose that button; I won’t be able to sew it back on.

Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have beads of dirt and sweat all under there.

Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up the thread!

Here, take these old magazines to the toilet with you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.

Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash dishes.  

No! I don’t have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?

Eat that liver; it’ll make you big and strong like your daddy.

That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don’t care how cold it is out there, dogs don’t stay in the house.

Sit still! I’m trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up.

Hush your mouth! I don’t want to hear words like Dad Gummit! I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!

It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of “3S” Tonic tonight.

If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you’ll get another one when you get home.

Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!

Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene so that bad cut won’t get infected. I jumped off a fence once and a rusty nail went completely through my foot. Kerosene was the treatment on my gauze wrapped foot. CB

Eat everything on your plate; those children in China are starving.

It’s: ‘Yes Ma’am!’ and ‘No Ma’am!’ to me, young man, and don’t you forget it!

Hurry up and finish drying the dishes so we can go “ketch sum lightnin bugs and pit ’em in a jar”. (my brothers line)

Y’all come back now, ya hear.

I truly regret that some of you young folks missed hearing these rules like I did. I heard 95% of these from my mother, brother, friends and grandmothers before I joined the Navy at 17.

Someday I will write what I learned in a hurry in the Navy. With our new society in place it may not be X-rated much longer.

Unless they are at least 75, I doubt that anyone I send this to will believe I heard these words?

C Brewer

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  1. Baxter Henderson on said:

    Good stuff Clyde. I have heard most of them and wasn’t brought up in Texas.



  2. tadpole on said:

    “”Quit slamming the screen door when you go out!”””

    I was five years old before I learned my name was not “don’t slam that door”.

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