A Conservative View

Helping Donald Trump save Americas freedoms!

RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED MIND!

Even children, now have the status symbol of today, a cell phone. Some wear those devices over their ear, others wear them clipped to their belt or purse and some flash them to get attention. As technology passed me by and to look cool, I disguised my hearing aid, wear a garage door opener on my belt and carry an empty i phone case when I am shopping or at public events.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it “Pumping Rust”.

I’ve gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!

When people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, ‘Oh, have you got a cat?’  Just once I want to say, ‘No, it’s for company!’

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, “A Good Doctor”!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me.  They were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve.

Birds of a feather flock together . . . . Then poop on your car.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you likely have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble…

Did you ever notice:  When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs”?

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and a lot of the roads weren’t paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. AMEN

Thanks Allan for sharing your thoughts.

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