A Conservative View

Helping Donald Trump save Americas freedoms!

Archive for the category “Lighter Side”

GUN CONTROL – FOR DEMOCRATS?

My good friend Allan Moore shared this collection of factual events in history that prove the provided solution is necessary. Posting this right before the 2016 Demoncratic Convention seemed timely as they are screaming gun elimination. They must keep a log of Demoncrats killed by Demoncrats and just in the Chicago area alone figures scare the crap out of Hillary and her band of thieves.

Enjoy this collection of events that seem to indicate and actually prove that Demoncrats have a problem. The real thing that bothers the Clintons is that most of the deaths in Chicago and other big cities are actually Demoncrats that vote. The number is so big they can’t keep up with deaths fast enough to make sure they will still vote in November. They are also short on people as the paid Demoncratic agitators are still in Cleveland jails and they need more people to work the graveyards registering voters nationwide.

FACTS

In 1865, a Democrat shot and killed Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States.

In 1881, a left wing radical Democrat shot James Garfield, President of the United States – who later died from the wound.

In 1963, a radical left wing socialist shot and killed John F. Kennedy, President of the United States.

In 1975, a left wing radical Democrat fired shots at Gerald Ford, President of the United States.

In 1983, a registered Democrat shot and wounded Ronald Reagan, President of the United States.

In 1984, James Hubert, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 22 people in a McDonalds restaurant.

In 1986, Patrick Sherrill, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 15 people in an Oklahoma post office.

In 1990, James Pough, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 10 people at a GMAC office.

In 1991, George Hennard, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 23 people in a Lubys cafeteria in Killeen, TX.

In 1995, James Daniel Simpson, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 5 coworkers in a Texas laboratory.

In 1999, Larry Asbrook, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 8 people at a church service.

In 2001, a left wing radical Democrat fired shots at the White House in a failed attempt to kill George W. Bush, President of the US.

In 2003, Douglas Williams, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 7 people at a Lockheed Martin plant.

In 2007, a registered Democrat named Seung – Hui Cho, shot and killed 32 people in Virginia Tech.

In 2010, a mentally ill registered Democrat named Jared Lee Loughner, shot Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and killed 6 others.

In 2011, a registered Democrat named James Holmes, went into a movie theater and shot and killed 12 people.

In 2012, Andrew Engeldinger, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 7 people in Minneapolis.

In 2013, a registered Democrat named Adam Lanza, shot and killed 26 people in a school in Newtown, CT.

As recently as Sept 2013, an angry Democrat shot 12 at a Navy ship yard.

In 2016, the Orlando night club shooter was a registered democrat.

Clearly, there is a problem with Democrats and guns.

Not one NRA member, Tea Party member, or Republican conservative was involved in any of these shootings and murders.

SOLUTION:

It should be illegal for Democrats to own guns.

We don’t need gun control, we need Democrat control. Guns don’t kill people, Democrats do!                       ANON

JOB CREATION IDEAS

I received this from a friend and it seems like a great idea. I decided to post it as a public service. As our government has no idea how to help create industry jobs this may accidently be read by the CIA or NSA and a secret agent who can turn in a suggestion and be rewarded for these job creating ideas.

The government would then set up a new agency and hire 100,000 new people to read blogs for ideas on how to create jobs. Then they will tax the blogs to pay for the 100,000 new jobs they created and I would be paying to share my ideas free. What a cycle I have imagined. Anyone agree? I am leaving tomorrow for a week at the beach with 32 of my family and friends. I need to recharge my batteries and prepare for the political conventions. By then Mitt Romney will have 100 more people running for President to make sure Trump is beaten by Hillary. She must have promised him a seat on the Supreme Court to serve with Bill Clinton, Eric Holder, Bill Ayres and Al Sharpton. C Brewer

DIALING 1-800 FOR HELP

The gas company serving my area brought their call center back to Phoenix from India last year after numerous customer complaints. What a difference now when you call them…and it created 300 jobs. I know this works because they were so bad that when India answered I wouldn’t even deal with them. I’d simply ask to be transferred to a rep. in the U.S. and they would comply.

Now that I know it is the LAW – I will do it for sure.

Any time you call an 800 number (for a credit card, banking, Verizon, health and other insurance, computer help desk, etc.) and you find that you’re talking to a foreign customer service representative (perhaps in India, Philippines, etc.), please consider doing the following.

After you connect and you realize that the customer service representative is not from the USA (you can always ask if you are not sure about the accent), please, very politely, say, “I’d like to speak to a customer service representative in the United States”.

The individual might suggest talking to his/her manager, but, again, politely say, “Thank you, but I’d like to speak to a customer service representative in the USA.”

YOU WILL BE IMMEDIATELY CONNECTED TO A REP IN THE USA. That’s the rule and the LAW.

It takes less than one minute to have your call re-directed to the USA.

Tonight when I got redirected to a USA rep, I asked again to make sure – and yes, she was from Fort Lauderdale.

Imagine what would happen if every US citizen insisted on talking to only US phone reps from this day forward? Imagine how that would ultimately impact the number of US jobs that would need to be created.

If I tell 100 people to consider doing this and you tell 100 people to consider doing this – see what I mean… it becomes an exercise in Viral Marketing 101!

Remember:

The goal here is to restore jobs back here at home – not to be abrupt or rude to a foreign phone rep. You may even get correct answers, good advice, and solutions to your problems.

If you agree, please tell 100 people you know, and ask them to tell 10o people they know….etc…Most of the time you can’t understand the foreign rep anyway!!

“The problems we face today are because the people who work for a living are now outnumbered by those that vote for a living.

ANON

Unfortunately this will be federalized and another government agency will be created. They will provide “Customer Service” for that gas company at ten times the costs charged using people in India and Pakistan. Our government will then hire another 100,000 people from Syria and Iraq that we can’t understand, but they vote for Demoncrats.

Anyone agree I need a week with my grandkids? CB

A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!

Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder. Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking .

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

But first I’ll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day, the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter, the flowers don’t have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail..

Do me a favor. share this message to everyone you know,because I don’t remember who I’ve sent it to.

Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming! I don’t remember who sent it to me, so if it was you, let me know and I will give you credit.

Thanks to my friend Dr. Forrest for providing a name for this aging process. You would think someone would make a pill to help but the pill makers are too young to understand.  C Brewer 

Governmentium

Read the entire article before you see if you agree with the conclusions 
– An exciting discovery!!!
 
Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known
to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25
assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.
 
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact.
 
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take
less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
 
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. This process is known as an
election
 
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When
catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has
half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

My special thanks to my great friend Baxter Henderson who lives in Melbourne Australia for sharing this assessment that appears to an analysis of the United States government in action? You can decide.  I hope this made you smile and see how screwed up our entire government has become. C Brewer

A LIFE STORY!

My great friend and golfing buddy sent this to me and I suppose as he is 80 and I am 85 it may have had a bigger impact as my father was also born in 1902 and also a newspaper man but he was different as he drove too long and I had to confiscate his car keys when he was just 77 for everyone’s safety. This brought back some great memories of growing up in this same era. I hope at least, but doubt that even my family will read this and someday tell my grandkids about my unusual life. So much is lost because we don’t take time to record family history except with pictures. The stories are the value of comparing eras and whether your life was better than your ancestors.

Humor used to be a way of life until the government started regulating our lives and reducing our freedoms. The current move to a Socialists Democracy will likely happen and future Americans will not even believe what freedom was/ Watching this transition including Progressive-Liberals in my own family have been the saddest memory of my life. Thanks ED Johnson for making my day. I hope it makes others remember how lucky we were to have lived during the best days in the history of America.  C Brewer

This nice piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997 he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is well worth reading. A few good chuckles are guaranteed.

My father never drove a car. Well, that’s not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car. He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

“In those days,” he told me when he was in his 90s, “to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it.” At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in:”Oh, baloney, he hit a horse!!” “Well,” my father said, “there was that, too.”

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars — the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford — but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines, would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we’d ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. “No one in the family drives,” my mother would explain, and that was that.
It was as if he wasn’t sure which one of us would turn 16 first. But, sure enough, my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a ChevBut, sometimes, my father would say, “But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we’ll get one.”y dealership downtown. It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn’t drive, it more or less became my brother’s car. Having a car but not being able to drive didn’t bother my father, but it didn’t make sense to my mother.

So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father’s idea. “Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?” I remember him saying more than once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps — though they seldom left the city limits — and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work. Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn’t seem to bother either of them through their 75 years 
of marriage. (Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustine’s Church. She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish’s two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.

If it was the assistant pastor, he’d take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests “Father Fast” and “Father Slow.”

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he’d sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. 

In the evening, then, when I’d stop by, he’d explain: “The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored.”

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out — and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, “Do you want to know the secret of a long life?”

“I guess so,” I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.

“No left turns,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“No left turns,” he repeated. “Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.

As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn.”

“What?” I said again.

“No left turns,” he said. “Think about it.. Three rights are the same as a left, and that’s a lot safer. So we always make three rights..”


“You’re kidding!” I said, and I turned to my mother for support.

“No,” she said, “your father is right. We make three rights. It works.” But then she added: “Except when your father loses count.”

I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.

“Loses count?” I asked.

“Yes,” my father admitted, “that sometimes happens. But it’s not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you’re okay again.”

I couldn’t resist. “Do you ever go for 11?” I asked.

“No,” he said ” If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can’t be put off another day or another week.”
My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90.

She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102. They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. 

(Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom — the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)

He continued to walk daily — he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he’d fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising — and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.

A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, “You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred.” At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, “You know, I’m probably not going to live much longer.” “You’re probably right,” I said.

“Why would you say that?” He countered, somewhat irritated. “Because you’re 102 years old,” I said. “Yes,” he said, “you’re right.” He stayed in bed all the next day.

That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night. He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said: “I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet” An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:

“I want you to know,” he said, clearly and lucidly, “that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have.” A short time later, he died.

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I’ve wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long. I can’t figure out if it was because he walked through life, or because he quit taking left turns.” Life is too short to wake up with regrets. 

So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one’s who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it & if it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.”

 

ENJOY LIFE NOW – IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE!

 

I can’t express my delight in reading this article as it made me remember some of the most unusual events of my life that I doubt my great grand children will ever know or really care. I am lucky to have lived longer than any male in both sides of my family buy I’ll never make 102 for sure. Please share this with as many Americans as possible. CB

SOME THINGS NEVER SEEM TO CHANGE?

I have decided to stay away from politics for a while or at least until the Republicans decide to stop destroying each other and nominate someone who might beat Hillary. I am making an assumption that even if the FBI charges her with “Treason” Obama will pardon her before any trial so she can continue his path to destroy our Republic form of government. I doubt that ten percent of Americans alive today even know why this country was created as a Republic instead of a Democracy alone.

America would have perished a long time ago if elitist or radical elements like the Muslim takeover of the world had happened a couple of hundred years ago. Being a student of American history all of my 85 years, what is happening today with the Liberal-Progressive movement, scares the daylights out of this old man.

I am spending a lot of time watching and reading snippets of very selective TV Commentators and other national news sources. I have never seen as much hatred, self destruction, character assassination, twisted lies and bias in my lifetime. I try very hard to keep anything questionable away from my writing but when you read and watch so much that is unethical, false, twisted and outright propaganda shoved down the voters throat it makes you sick.

I do make some comments, re-post some articles and even write some short comments, analysis and opinions on Face book if you use this free service. Having a large family that even includes some Liberal-Progressives, Face book makes it easier to communicate. I do have a caustic streak that sneaks out occasionally. This automatically happens when people like Obama, Reid, the White House Puppets, Alan Colmes, everyone on CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS and their extensions says anything. Our news is so managed and controlled by the White House I have a hard time even believing the Weather channel as the forecast never seem to even be 50% accurate. I do publish the blog on Face book most of the time to hopefully arouse more people to comment. I always try to learn something every day and having little or no feedback to help me improve is depressing.

Now that I have possibly annoyed everyone, let me share some humor that that should even make a Demoncrat smile. My old friend Jim Heck shared the following and it motivated me to write this article.

This old comedy exchange seems appropriate.

I hope some remember Abbot and Costello.


COSTELLO:  I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America  .
 

ABBOTT: Good Subject.  Terrible Times.  It’s 5.6%.

COSTELLO:  That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that’s 23%.

COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%.

ABBOTT:  5.6% Unemployed.

COSTELLO:  Right 5.6% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 23%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it’s  23% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 5.6%.

COSTELLO:  WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%?

ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed.  23% are out of work.

COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT:  No, Congress said you can’t count the “Out of Work” as the unemployed.  You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO:  What point?

ABBOTT:  Someone who doesn’t look for work can’t be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn’t be fair. 

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you’re off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don’t look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes  down. That’s how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like an Economist.

COSTELLO:  I don’t even know what the hell I just said!

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like a Politician.

This is one of the best illustrations of how our entire government operates today that I can find to share. C Brewer

AN OLD CONSERVATIVE’S DREAM!

My good friend and golfing pal, ED Johnson, sent me a message with someone’s dream. I have decided to change the names and make several modifications, additions and express what would be my perfect dream. If someone knows who created the basic outline I will be happy to give them credit. I hope to wake up next November to and hopefully watch my dreams come true.

My dream was watching the inauguration that happened and the actions on and after January 20th 2017. 

1. President Donald Trump and Vice President Ted Cruz are sworn into office.

2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist healthcare farce known as Obamacare.  The new Director of Health and Social Services Dr. Ben Carson announces that an independent group of healthcare management professionals is hired to handle healthcare services for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the duty of eliminating Medicare and Medicaid fraud.  Government’s costs for public healthcare are reduced by 90%.  Healthcare insurance premiums for working Americans are reduced by 50%.  The move saves billions of taxpayer paid dollars.  Healthcare service in the U.S improves 100%.

3. Newly appointed department of Homeland Security Chief Marco Rubio announces the immediate deployment of Troops to the U.S. Mexico border to control illegal immigration and the immediate deportation of illegals with criminal records or links to terrorist groups.  New bio-encrypted Social Security ID’s are required by every American citizen.  Birthright is abolished. All immigration from countries that represent a threat to the safety of American citizens is terminated indefinitely. The move saves American taxpayers billions of dollars. Several prisons are closed.

4. Newly appointed Secretary of Business and Economic Development Carly Fiorina eliminates more than half of the Government agencies operating under the Obama administration saving taxpayers billions of dollars. Stocks rise 100%. 

5. Newly appointed Director of Government Finance, Rand Paul announces the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the new Federal Tax Return form.  It consists of one page.  The instructions consist of two pages. The Federal Reserve is audited. The move saves American Taxpayers billions of dollars and increases tax revenue.

6. Hillary Clinton is in jail, where she belongs.  Her cell is directly across from Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton who are serving time for ‘Hate Crimes”.  She bitches at them constantly from behind the bars of her cell in what some might call cruel and unusual punishment.

7. Bernie Sanders is in the “Funny Farm” (asylum), where he belongs. His room is directly across from Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chris Matthews and Al Franken.  They meet for tea every day at ten and discuss the success and benefits of Communism and Socialism throughout the world. They also wonder when the “Mothership”’ is going to pick them up and return them to their home planets.

8. Windows 12 is released. It is designed for humans, doesn’t try to satisfy the needs of every person on the planet, doesn’t require a degree in nuclear physics to operate and looks just like Windows 7 except it is easier to use.

9. Barack Obama flees the United States under cover of darkness and returns to his homeland of Kenya before his trial for treason begins. He deplanes on a remote jungle airstrip. It was reported that he was last seen wandering through the jungle singing “Hakuna Matata” with a chimp named “Michelle” and two monkeys named “Joe” and “Valarie”.

10. A committee is established to determine what is causing global cooling. Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved. Polar Bears and Seals were applauding the action as the enlarging ice cap was attracting too many hunters who could travel easier.

11. Dead people, illegal aliens, cartoon characters and ACORN are no longer allowed to vote. Most Demoncrat politicians, especially in Chicago, South Texas and all red states are fleeing to other states, changing their names and hiding to avoid prison.

12. The Department of Energy was abolished and the newly reorganized Department of the Interior was made responsible for the drilling, production, transportation, sale, storage and purchase of oil, gas and coal. Initial study found that America would be 100% energy independent by 2020. It was announced that any energy purchased would be from Canada and Mexico. Gasoline prices dropped to 99 cents a gallon when all federal taxes were eliminated.

13. The Department of education was eliminated and every state was notified that any person in any teaching position that made any statements to students that were in conflict with the Constitution would face prison terms. Activity to change the Constitution would be permitted but not in any classroom. In other actions public teachers would be deputized to arrest students and/or parents who do not obey written discipline guidelines.

Suddenly I woke up before I finished listing other actions that should be taken. When I have another dream I will document my dreams as Part Two. If you have suggestions of other actions that should be taken, please send me your comments and/or register them as comments on my blog.

C Brewer

PIST-AWF

Dear Friends,
I am sorry that I have not been responsive lately to your emails and have not recently written any new articles for the Blog. I have been under the weather since a doctor friend recently informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic White House Fatigue ( PIST-AWF ).

 

For those of you who do not know what that is, PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that is found to be widespread and highly contagious. Symptoms include, but not limited to: Severe pain of the scalp from pulling your hair while viewing the President pandering to Muslim terrorists. Loose bowels from swallowing the fact we elected Obama twice. Extreme hunger due to vomiting from seeing terrorists murdering innocent people every day. The crowning blow was the news from Obama and John Kerry that they have invited some 200,000 possibly radical terrorists from Syria to immigrate to America. I feel certain they will get immediate approval to vote in next years election along with the some 12,000,000 illegal aliens already here.

If you feel you have Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic White House Fatigue, please notify your local election board and place your name on the list for a cure. It is hoped that the cure will be available in November of 2016.

And I stupidly thought my affliction was due to being 85 years old! I wish to thank my friend Dr. Forrest for diagnosing my latest ailment. I am so happy to know that PIST-AUF is not an aging problem. Please let me know if you think you might have this same ailment and I will advise Dr. Forrest he has helped another frustrated conservative American. Waiting another year to find out if a cure is found will be agonizing and I sincerely hope that Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are successful in being given a chance to eliminate this horrible dilemma.

Dr.Forrest did not reveal who made the discovery of this medical breakthrough but they must be devout conservatives. Please share this with others you may know with this condition. If we make every conservative aware I feel certain Mr. Trump and Cruz will be successful in curing this terrible Progressive-Liberal disease.
This is an unpaid political announcement.   
C Brewer   11-22-15

OBAMA – FACT OR FICTION?

An example of government decision making.

Once upon a time there was a President who wanted to go play golf.

He called in his Weather Czar, VP Joe Biden, and asked when would be the next day he could be sure there would be no rain.

Biden assured him that there was absolutely no chance of rain for tomorrow. So the President and Reverend Al Sharpton departed early the next morning for a round of golf.

After they teed off they were riding and when they stopped before the next shot a farmer who was plowing with his mule, John K, in the adjacent field hollered and said, Mr. President you need to return immediately to the White house as we will shortly be having a torrential rain storm.

Obama responded in his usual caustic way, My VP and Weather Czar Joe Biden is the best forecaster in the world. He is extremely experienced, well-educated and paid a very high salary to give me advice. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him so we will finish our round of golf

Before they finished the second hole the bottom fell out as torrential rain fell from the sky and Obama and Sharpton were totally soaked.

Their entire entourage, including the Secret Service, chuckled upon seeing them in such a drenched condition. Furious, Obama returned to the White House and fired Biden as his Weather Czar and told him to go hide out of his sight!

Then Obama summoned the farmer & offered him the prestigious & high paying role of his new Weather Czar.

The farmer said, “Mr. President, I do not know anything about weather forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey, John K. If I see his ears drooping, it means, with 100% certainty that it will rain.”

So Obama hired John K, the donkey.

And thus began the practice of hiring asses to work in the Obama government & occupy its highest & most influential advisory positions. Now John K is Secretary of State and negotiating a treaty with Iran.

C Brewer

 

“UP”! – A TWO LETTER?

Easing “UP” on politics today I wanted to share some unusual facts from my old friend, Turkey, who lives in Hillsboro Texas. I hope you enjoy this and possibly broaden your knowledge and learn something today.

I use this but never knew that the word “UP” or any other two-letter word in the English language can be used as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb or preposition. Read this until the end you’ll also may crack “UP”. The word “UP” in English also has more different meanings than any other two-letter word.

The dictionary shows you “UP” is an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v]. It’s easy to understand “UP”, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come “UP”? 

Why do we say speak “UP”?

Why are politicians and company officers the “UP” for election?

Why is it “UP” to the secretary to write “UP” a report? 

We call “UP” our friends.

We brighten “UP a room.”

We polish “UP” the silver.”

Warm “UP” the leftovers and then we clean “UP” the kitchen. 

We lock “UP” the house.

We fix “UP” the old car.

At other times, this little word has real special meanings.  

People stir “UP” trouble, line “UP” for tickets, work “UP” an appetite, and think “UP” excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed “UP” is special.

“UP” can also be really confusing: 

A drain must be opened “UP” because it is stopped “UP”.

We open “UP” a store in the morning and we close it “UP” at

Night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be completely knowledgeable about the proper uses of “UP”, look “UP” the word “UP” in the dictionary. In a full-sized dictionary, it takes “UP” almost 1/4 of the page and can add “UP” to about thirty different definitions.

If you are “UP” to it, you might try building “UP” a list of the many ways “UP” is used.  It will take “UP” a lot of your time, but if you don’t give “UP”, you may wind “UP” with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding “UP”. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing “UP”.  When it rains, 

It soaks “UP” the earth.  When it does not rain often we say it dry’s “UP”. 

One could go on and on, but let me wrap it “UP”, as now my time is “UP”!

Oh, one more thing:  What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night? “U” “P”

Did that one crack you UP?

Don’t screw “UP”.  Send this on to everyone you look “UP” in your address book. It’s “UP” to you.

A closing political message to all Democrats “UP” Yours.

Now I’ll shut UP!   C Brewer

Post Navigation