A Conservative View

Living Alone

Living Alone

It has been nearly two years since Norma died and loneliness has been more intense than I expected. The aging process and caring for her over the nearly seven years she endured the most horrible life anyone could imagine were miserable. Along with my family we had access to the best medical care assisted with very confident performance of Home Health Care, Hospice and again, our family. As we retired and moved away from our family over 30 years ago the time and sacrifice, they provided was outstanding. 

Norma was 82 years old when she passed away which is in the upper range of life expected. Sadly, her life of happiness slowly disappeared over the time frame described. I have been blessed with a long life and lived longer in years than anyone in my family except my mother. She passed away at 94 but only had a couple of months of misery before she died.

I was already near 83 when Norma began her trip of misery. She never spent a day in the hospital since our youngest daughter was born in 1965. I spent seven years suffering with stomach ulcers and had half of my stomach removed in 1975. I have a vertical 13 inch scar starting below my belly button upward. Since I retired 1-1-1994 I spent 12 days in the hospital having my gallbladder removed and a 12 inch horizontal scar from near the right side of my belly button to a point below my right armpit.

In 2005 I experienced what was thought to be a seizure, fell and hit my chin on an end table and had 22 stitches attaching my tongue. After 4 days in a hospital, my first sleep study determined I had sleep apnea and I am still using a C-pap, my third. As a note I had to have another sleep study when I got a new C-Pap about 6 years ago. The second machine visibly tells you that the new machine automatically sets the pressure based on your individual needs. When I had a machine failure, I was instructed to get another sleep study. The second Doctor was no longer in practice locally, but the original sleep study was used even though the machines are self-adjusting then and now. 

In 2007, I became extremely ill with intense 104 fever, unable to keep anything in my stomach for seven days. I became normal and two weeks later I spent seven more days. My local Doctor had emergency surgery and another Doctor spent about two weeks having tests done and they decided to have me see an Internal Medicine Specialist to see if he could determine the problem. It was my blood pressure medicine I had been on for 25 years. I spent 3 years adjusting medications until all became normal again.

In 2010 I began having pain in my right knee and I got relief about every six months with shots administered by my local PA. In 2015 the shots stopped helping my knee and I was sent to an Orthopedic Surgeon for shots my doctor could not administer. The term rooster comb shots was used. These shots worked fine until 2018 and the surgeon was reluctant to operate on me at nearly 87 years old.

About the same time my left knee started to have severe pain and another Surgeon was called in and examined both knees and recommended knee replacements for both knees. Fortunately, all of the doctors ruled out operating on both knees at the same time as I was then caring for Norma with her Dementia. My right knee was replaced in early June. I was told 4 days later that I fell out of the bed twice while in recovery and a local heart doctor hounded me several times that I needed a Pacemaker. They installed the pacemaker. The next day they had to dig it out and install another Pacemaker. I spent 9 days in CCU before they moved me to Hemphill for therapy. 

They scheduled an operation on my left knee in February 2019 at a different hospital but the same surgeon. I was nearing 89. All went well with the procedure and therapy, and I now have no pain.

I am now a lonely old man who has had a storybook life, seen a lot of the world and most of the United States. My only pain is my right thumb that I broke 75 years ago. It had never hurt until I fell out of bed twice in CCU after my first knee replacement. 

I still have a poodle we got for my wife six or seven years ago. She worshiped Norma and she now is bonded to me. The two of us have a lonely life that would be better if the dog could talk. We live in a small six lot area, surrounded by Midlake Campground, and Toledo Bend Lake. Three families own the waterfront area and individuals rent the abbuted surrounding area. All of these families are from Houston, Lafayette, Nacogdoches, Baton Rouge and the dog and I live at 491 s Midlake Dr. Hemphill TX.

I try to play par three golf but at 92 I rarely finish without pain. I have 61 in my two families and all but one live four hours away. My baby granddaughter is in her third year at Steven F Austin in Nacogdoches Texas only 65 miles away.

On my way to 93 I try to play golf on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and the second Saturday of every month. We have an old bunch who like to play and like each other. My other activity is paying bills, buying groceries, managing the mail, haircut and foot sanding every three weeks and having the dog groomed. I only drive locally as anyone my age has to be very cautious to protect our neighbors. I average sleeping 12 hours a day and try to exercise on my stationary bike.

Having so many in my family used to be desired contact with kinfolks that seldom visit here now. I try to go visit with them but they all work and I will never drive in any town over 25 miles away unless it is an emergency. 

I am considering moving to a smaller place if my health holds up for a few more years if there are people to see more often. I have Chelsea and Tiffany who currently keep the house clean, my laundry done and they have tried to help me with the yard. Many of you have visited Norma’s flowers and trees that used to be so pretty. I am ashamed of the gardens but I do not have the energy to do more myself.

Recently I could not find my cell phone I had taken to Arlington so I could make a trip to Alyssa, my granddaughters wedding and take my phone. I had returned from my trip at Christmas, and I found my cell phone before Steve picked me up on October 8th to be at the wedding on October 9th. When I found it, Mobil PCS had cut off my service several months ago as I had canceled the credit card and they never even tried to tell me. Now I have even lost my number I have had for over 30 years that is printed on my cards. 

What I would like to know is how long God has planned for me to live. I hope my demise will be swift and painless.  If I go before my “Brina” she will be adopted by one of our family. If she expires first, I pray that someone here will properly bury her on this property. If she is first to go I am not sure what I will do? I get so lonesome living with her it has become painful. I still hope I can write enough about living alone for Lisa to someday compile a book to advise old people how to plan their future.

I beg my friends and family to vote and bring back Donald Trump in 2024. If we do become a Socialist country our young people who scream for change will see the end of freedom for many states. Should it happen I pray that Texas will become a country again along with other freedom loving States.

God Bless America                   Clyde W. Brewer 

LIVING ALONE

SEPTEMBER 18, 2022 Hell Week

I am still getting used to using the WordPress site to create my new articles. I hope you can remember but computers have never been one of my strengths along with spelling and typing everything I write. When I was promoted to General Foreman in 1954 until I retired in 1993 I had a secretary to make me look fully qualified to write everything I published. I have been wanting to reveal the weaknesses but I waited until after my 92nd birthday last month. My last article did have some of my mistakes. I would like to credit three, Joan, Betty, who were sisters and Dorothy who never made mistakes during my 32 years with Lockheed and Halliburton. Credits for my work during the years 1983 until she died in 2021 go to my wife Norma assisted by our daughter Laurie. These five people deserve my thanks for helping make me a success all of these years.

The last two weeks have been filled with events that you never expect or have to deal with.. I was notified that the local telephone/internet provider was coming at sometime on 9-6-22 to replace my modem with an advanced model sometime during the day. I arose at 6:oo am to play golf at 8:00 and returned home at 10:15 to see they had been here and finished their work and left a note with my housekeeper with the new router address and password. My first move was to change the TV channel and nothing happened. Then the phone rang and the caller ID did not appear on the TV screen like it has for several years. At that point I called our local TV service man, Todd, who surprised me when he was there and answered the call. He was here in 15 minutes and “Hell Week” started.. The new router had not been connected to the three TV’s, Alexia, the Chrome computer, two Chrome laptops and the upstairs Microsoft computers and four printers. Todd started and he got everything working except the Cloud equipment and the caller on the TV. the next day noise and the caller ID were still defective. Service man returned and had no noise and the caller ID was working for two days. Todd replaced a new wire and the noise stopped. The next day the noise reappeared and the caller ID again disappeared.

The next day we decided to replace the Chrome equipment that I had been trying to learn how to use for 4 years. The new Dell Microsoft computer arrived by the 12th and Todd transferred all data to the main unit and could not use the two laptops. I ordered a new HP Microsoft laptop with a 17 inch screen and a standard size keyboard the next day. The 4th telephone man arrived on the 13th and got the caller ID started and replaced some wiring and stopped the noise.’

On the 13th I signed in on the Dell computer and nothing happened. I called Todd and moved to the new HP laptop and it was great, Todd came and said the motherboard on the Dell computer equipment was defective and we notified Amazon, A replacement was shipped the next day as Todd had packaged the Dell stuff, drove to Many Louisiana to expedite delivery of a replacement. I was notified on 15th a replacement was shipped and it is due to be here Tuesday the 20th. I got an E-mail from the seller needed more information and Todd replied. It appears they are trying to charge us for the replacement of the Dell stuff.

Todd dropped by on the 17th to tell me he will be out of town all next week so it will be the 25th before he will be back. The telephone people will be here tomorrow to work on the noise that prevents me from using my emergency call system. What an adventure for a 92 year old widower and my 15 year old Poodle who is asleep in my bed at nearly midnight.

Clyde Brewer

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INPUT RESPONSES

9-4-22

Living Alone

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LIVING ALONE

AUGUST 2022

NOTE: This is about the 4th version of trying to create a common format that can be used to standardize my outputs for a book. I never intend to finish writing chapters that will someday be published. This will require that someone else will  publish my work when I either get too old to write or reach the end of my life.

August 31, 1930 was the date of the beginning of my life and I was certain that January 23, 2021 was a date that ended the perceived happiness cycle for my life. After a year of living alone I decided that I could still capture the attention of family and others with a God given ability to communicate in writing. I decided earlier this summer that I would try to plan the rest of this month to see how accurate the process can be. I chose this summer when the largest variable had to be the current weather cycle, hot, hotter and beyond hot.

July 2022 has been the first time since I played my first game of golf, where the weather has been a reason to decide when to avoid playing. I played that first game in 1938. The thing I remembered most was the hundreds of Tarantulas that joined my uncle James Miller and I when he took me to play at the Mineral Wells Texas Country Club. 

The July and August 2022 heat has so far limited my golf play. The current weather forecast will limit my scheduled and planned play for the rest of August. I have invited a group to play at 8:00 am on August 31st, my 92nd birthday. Then with their wife, husband, friend, ? They are all invited to join me for my birthday lunch at 11:00 am nearby. Another small family group will join me for dinner that evening. 

My primary reason for the birthday events will be to “Remember Norma”. She would have been 84  on August 30th, the day before mine. I will always remember convincing our four children, Laurie, David, Lisa and Leah that Norma was one day older than me until Laurie started to school. 

Another event planned for the month will be on August 24th in Lufkin to celebrate Freddie Keel’s 82nd birthday. Dr. Reuffer is driving us and Freddie has invited John Booker to join us for lunch. John celebrated his 101th birthday earlier this year. This foursome played more than a few rounds of golf at Rayburn Country Club until Freddie got too old. If we have time Dr.. Reuffer and I will play a round early at Pendleton on the 24th before the drive to Lufkin and lunch.

Happy Birthday to Tadpole, Norma and myse;f. 

Clyde Brewer    8-8-2022

LIVING ALONE                             June 23, 2022

Part 4

I have been gathering another chapter of what will be a worthwhile summary for old people, like me, to use as they take their journey through later life. It amazes me to realize that I can still remember things that take me back to so many events that happened 80 to 85 years ago.

If I had known I would live to be 92 next month I would have used a tape recorder to help me remember more. One thing that shakes me up is how fast time races by, during times you accomplish less, sleep more and have no one to converse with. Another factor is how fast the abnormal events surrounding the years Norma suffered with dementia, actually stopped with her passing. What reminded me to make sure I included timing changes was realizing Norma died 18 months ago today.

Every time I have awakened from my night’s sleep I try to make sure to hurry to stop the alarm, calm the dog down or hurry to the phone to stop the ringing. All of these reactions remain until I realize Norma is beyond awakening after 62 years. I still calm the dog knowing she can’t talk but we have learned how to communicate by other means.

Even though you likely had pets as you made the trip through life, not everyone had the same experiences. Let me use my family to illustrate some aging timetable differences. My brother, Jim, and I faced significant challenges and differences during our early and late trips through life. During 1938 the State of Texas voted to add another year to State required education. I will try to illustrate some of the impacts that suddenly disrupted the lives of every student and parents in the State. I can only imagine how it disrupted the life of every Teacher, Administrator and their families. To touch on a few facts, please walk through the following facts. 

1. I started school in 1936 the day after my sixth birthday. My Brother started his 12 year  public education when he was nearly seven in 1939

2. Every student who was in school in 1938 was evaluated and if the student was not having any problems with knowledge or maturity they were double promoted. In my case I was elevated from the third grade in 1938 to the fifth grade in 1939. I still only spent eleven years in public school and my brother spent twelve.
3. I graduated in May 1947 when I was still 16. My brother started school in 1939 and graduated in 1952 he was nearing 19. 

1939 was a year of chaos but the State of Texas has faced and improved the educational issues. 

Texas has fought and will end the current political events designed by liberal idiots to destroy the State by politically driven and manipulated events. Currently our President and the Progressive money has wrecked the petroleum industry with legislation and Executive orders again. They will never enforce the immigration laws to stop the madness again. If we still have any Historians you can follow the actions that increase the prices of petroleum products every time a Socialist leaning individual wins an election, like Biden, Sanders, etc.

At this time I am reviewing WW11 for significant issues leading up to my “Living Alone issues.

Clyde Brewer       July 23, 2022 

LIVING ALONE

Part 3, THE INVASION.

After living alone for nearly seventeen months, the entire family Norma and I produced, gathered for a week’s vacation together. One thing was evident, for the next seven days the dog and I would not be alone. Our family had spent 21 years together for a week in Surfside Texas from 1968 until 2018. From 1999 until 2018 we spent 19 continuous years together. Fill in every year as we vacationed every year after Norma and I married 62 years ago. 

My memory of the first vacation was in June of 1963 and it was a trip no one would ever forget. Our first child, Laurie was 2 years on June twenty fifth. Our 2nd anniversary was on June twenty third. Our son David was born on June fourth and was not quite 3 weeks old. My Mother was with us and away we went at 9:30 PM to visit my brother, Jimmy and his family in the Seattle Washington area. Our first stop was in Green River Utah at 6:00 PM the next day after driving over 1100 miles. The next day took us 750 miles to Baker Oregon. On day three we arrived in Seattle shortly after noon, and another 250 mile drive. Only as a benchmark; we were gone 23 days; visited 13 states; Vancouver Canada; drove over 6300 miles and paid for the entire trip with $650 I won the night we stayed in Las Vegas. Whew Our #3, Lisa was born 6-30-64 and #4 Leah was born on 10-30-65. 

Now for a description of our recent vacation trip to Surfside Texas. Laurie and Steve drove to Hemphill on Thursday June third to pick us up. We departed the next day for an experience that was a long way from being alone. With one more dependent, Sabrina, our 15 years old Poodle, we were on the way. After some 3.5 hours we arrived at our beach home for a week. 

The home we rented was not new to the family   as we had stayed there four or five times before this 2022 event. Next we faced unloading the equivalent of two moving vans into the home that is about twenty feet above ground. It has stairs on both ends and a ramp on one end to use wagons and dollies to move in. This home has 14 bedrooms, 10.5 baths, a media room, a huge living, dining, kitchen area and decks on both ends for some fresh air. The entire home is on one large level. 

Over the next two days the remainder of the Brewer Bunch arrived, Lisa, her husband Hank and daughter Emma: Leah Stone with daughter Alyssa, Son, Nick and son-in-law Travis; David, his wife Karina, son Blake, likely his intended, Kelsey, daughter Megan, husband Austin Gisclair, sons Miles 1, Henry 3; daughter McKensie, husband Jesse Gautreaux, granddaughter Isabel 3; Laurie’s son Landon, wife Airen, son Sam 6 and our firecracker granddaughter Iley 4. We also were blessed to have a family friend who we adopted many years ago, Thomas Howard, and his partnerJeremy with us all week. They demonstrated a drone that took pictures and was unbelievable in actions it could perform. 

We enjoyed an array of food all week that was hard to describe. Waffles, breakfast rolls, eggs biscuits, sausage, gravy, biscuits, Mexican food, tamales, chicken, pork, salads. Desserts beyond description, Daiquiri’s. For all of the years we have vacationed together menus have been exciting, delicious and challenged both the cooks and the eaters. 

As a family, watching the new generations appear has been exciting and a challenge for us all. As I am soon to be ninety two I always wonder why God has allowed me to watch my family grow and grow into five generations. 

With all of the things I have experienced in my lifetime the love of my life was chosen by God to come to Heaven too early. I will never question that decision and I am sure my future was decided a long time ago. I feel certain my wife Norma and our son-in-law Tony are continuing their tasks as Angels today in heaven.      

Clyde Brewer     July 4, 2022

LIVING ALONE

Living Alone…. Part 2

Wills…Some 30+ years ago my stockbroker told me I needed wills for Norma and myself. The reason was to protect our investments from outrageous income taxes on savings and property we were amassing for our retirement.

We bought a fishing cabin on Toledo Bend Lake in July 1983. In 1958 we were offered a chance to buy the property the cabin was constructed on and we began the creation of our retirement living complex. At this point I made a decision to put both the land and construction in Norma’s name as she was eight years younger than I was and would logically be the last survivor.

When she died it was several months before I realized it was time to make the changes to put the property into my name. Next, I discovered that my decision was not the smartest thing I ever accomplished. The County had sent me the tax bill for 30+ years and I had paid the taxes. I was advised to find a title company who was required to trace all transactions for those years before they could issue a new title for the homestead.

At that point I went to a local Title company to get the process started. While waiting to meet with someone, a lady asked me if Norma had a will and when I responded “yes” another question was asked. “Has the will been through Probate?” I believe my next response was “what is Probate?” At this point I was given information on Probate of wills.

My next appointment at a later date was a meeting with an attorney. During this meeting I learned more about Law than I had learned in my lifetime. I was advised that our wills were written during a time that taxes upon death were created to minimize taxes on anything willed. I was advised that the wills were primarily designed to tax everything and if you had a good will it was a tax saving advantage. Norma’s will was sent to our four children with questions for them to answer. 

To help others understand is the reason for each chapter of what looks like it will be a book, if I live long enough. This chapter is designed to help explain wills and Probate by a non-lawyer to other non-lawyers. As I have  grandchildren from a previous marriage who are attorneys I feel certain they will correct me if I make any mistakes in this chapter? 

Last week I was notified to join my Attorney to attend the Probate of Norma’s will. My Attorney, Sabine County Judge, the Honorable Judge Daryl Melton and two ladies that were working with them asked me a series of questions that were totally understood. At the end of each question I was asked to sign each document and I was given copies. The meeting was very professional and each question was fully understandable. 

After the meeting the attorney asked me to make arrangements with his secretary to meet and complete the changes to the property titles and my Will. He will go over any changes we made or need to make to my will to make it compatible with changes to laws made over the last 30+ years. 

Another legal issue that needs to be involved and completed involves a Trust I had another attorney create a few years ago. At this point I plan to leave our homestead to my seven youngest grandchildren. This will make sure the Trust and my revised Will remain compatible when I die and my designated Power of Attorney is required to have my Will probated. I also intend to spend my last breath living in Sabine County, Texas where all remaining legal business will be conducted.  

Hopefully this chapter will help other senior citizens with wills and Probate to make sure they understand the laws before they die. My next meeting is scheduled for June 13, 2022. I will include any future actions concerning Wills or Trusts should this meeting require any other legal dialog that can help others understand.   Clyde Brewer   5-26

LIVING ALONE

LIVING ALONE

On Saturday January 23, 2021 Norma, my loving wife for sixty years died after seven years suffering from Dementia. Unfortunately this was the beginning of the end of true happiness for my family. All of our children were grown and we had resided over 200 miles away from all in our families for the last thirty years. For 25 of my last 30 years were the happiest of my 90 years on God’s Earth. 

Norma was a beautiful person both inside and out. For me she was the perfect mate and with her love and support she helped me achieve success beyond my wildest dreams. We had four children in four years and four months and coupled with my work life we molded them into outstanding Americans. Three of our seven grandchildren are married and have so far produced five great grandchildren.

Norma was my second wife and my three older children coupled with the others have now grown to sixty with the recent birth of another great Grandson this year. My oldest will be seventy three this month. From this group there are six doctors, four lawyers, a CPA, a business owner , aerospace manager, a petroleum engineer and six teachers. I love them all and I have been retired for nearly thirty years and this is my home. 

I thought about possibly traveling some more but I have flown over four million miles in my lifetime. I have visited thirty two countries and worked in twenty three. I have worked or visited forty nine States with Alaska being the only one I have missed. With my daughter, Leah, we have discussed a trip to Alaska along with my friends, John and Patsy Sommers who live in Baton Rouge. The trip sounds like fun but with the Neuropathy in my feet and ankles and the long flights and connections sound like suffering.

I am sure that a cruise would be the perfect vacation but my driving is limited to short trips here in East Texas. With family living in Houston, Dallas, Ft. Worth, Arlington, Euless, Austin, San Antonio they help me find rides without torture. Another plus is having the Port lm Galveston. Except for one GrandDaughter, who lives in Los Angeles, the rest of the family live in one of the Texas locations listed. 

I live in a Lake front Home I designed with six sleeping sites that will accommodate twenty one adults. I have three baths, four hot water heaters, three central AC’s, three window type ACs. All of the AC’s have heat. I have a small fishing pier and over 3000 sq feet of wooden decks.  I have covered parking for four full size vehicles. Here in deep East Texas we have 60” of rain, three months of possible winter, two months of spring, four months of “HOT” and three months of rainy weather.

So far I try to play par three golf on a local course with about a dozen fabulous friends three times a week. Being the oldest, my friends take care of me when I get fatigued most of the time. 

Norma missed playing Bingo after she could no longer remember the numbers. Until a week before she died we had dinner at Hemphill BBQ every Thursday evening. Billy, Bobbie, Tiffany, Tim, Ann, Cotton, Chance , Dr. Peter Forrest, Norma and myself are always welcomed with a prayer by Larry Weaver. Before she died I had published over 1300 articles on WordPress and this article was posted since then.

I have tried many times to write more but I just can’t get motivated. For many years I walked two miles five days a week. Now I can’t walk 100 yards without rest. One promise I did keep was to care for Norma as long as I was capable. With help from family and Hospice I was able to care for her in our home until she died. Now I depend on  Tim, Tiffany, Chance and Chelsy to keep me at home instead of a nursing home.

I wanted to close with another thank you for Norma’s dog, Sobrina. My baby daughter Leah assisted me about five years ago in locating who we call “Brina” in an animal shelter. She is a miniature Poodle that had been abused. She and Norma became inseparable and now she is my shadow as we grow older. We had family pets most of my life but none who had captured my heart like she has. She is blind in one eye, overweight and glued to me to care for her. I am now nearly blind in one eye, overweight and I must have care to help me. Brina is my shadow but she fails short in a few more areas. She can’t cook, drive, clean the house or talk. If she could talk I am sure I would be happier.

Living alone results in a life of loneliness that happens when any spouse passes on. I never read about senior life alone but I suppose I could write a book to help others cope. As I think about it this could be adjusted to be chapter one should I get motivated to keep adding chapters?     

My dreams created my Bucket List and I have completed every promise but one. “ Live to be 105 years old and be shot by a jealous husband”.  Now, that would be scary.

Would anyone possibly desire to read a chapter Two? 

Clyde Brewer   May 2022

ONE OF THE SADDEST DAYS OF MY LIFE

We will gather this morning to review and honor the life of my youngest Son-in Law, “Tony” Stone. “Tony” who asked for my daughter’s hand and they were married on February 2, 1991.

As I am now 91 I can truthfully say “Tony” and Leah had a charmed life and created two faithful and loving children. Alyssa and “Nick” arrived after Norma I retired and our time with them was delightful.

We lost my loving wife, Norma” eleven months ago tomorrow. I will never forget the words that Leah uttered to me when we first talked, “Dad, I just wanted to hear your voice, “Tony” is now with Mom.”

Tears will flow today and our families will honor our child, man, father and leader, “Tony Stone”.

Clyde Brewer